Sitting here watching 500 Days of Summer…one of the homies told me to watch it. It depressed me to say the least. Only because I’ve been there before and I’m currently stuck in this vortex…I’m dating a few versions of Summer. Actually I’m not dating anyone. I can’t even get that lucky. I attract horny men and lames. I’d rather just stay to myself. Anyways back to this Summer chick. There are Summers everywhere. Some that just came out of a long term relationship, some who just want sex, some who like me just enough to enjoy my company but don’t wanna date me. Lol but they end up dating (maybe even proposing to) someone else. Bitter? No. Smarter? Yes. The part that I found very intriguing was when she started crying at the end of The Graduate… It actually makes sense though if only he could have read her better (he does have selective hearing so shit was doomed in the beginning). Moving on… Summer told Tom she wasn’t looking for anything serious…. But what did he do? He fell in love. He should have walked away. People should learn to LISTEN! Wait I like ACTIVE listening better. If someone says they aren’t looking for something… Ha! Believe them! Its as simple as that. If someone wants to pursue you they will. You cannot make anyone change their mind. The end. I’ll save my vagina for that guy. Everyone else looking for something casual I’m not interested. Let’s be best friends instead. Or not. I guess what perplexed me the most is how someone could randomly change their ideals. Then again you know what love is when you feel it. Going from I don’t wanna be in a relationship to oh now I’m married. Eh. The heart wants what the heart wants. Ain’t shit you can do… Whatever, I’m still recovering from love (cue out my mind song by Erykah). I would like to thank the homie @analyst2010 for suggesting the movie. It definitely made me not want a relationship or anything close to it for a little while. I do want companionship but… I like having low blood pressure now. I’d rather be alone until it feels right. My vagina…eh. That’s another blog.
Words no post graduate wants to say: “I am moving back home with the parents.” I have lived in Greensboro for 5 years and this departure is at best…bittersweet. I have so many friends up here. I have a lot of my adult memories here. Where as in Durham I have seasonal memories of my adulthood and brushes with my childhood and confused teenage years. I have never really had a space to call my own until I went to college. Now I have to move back into a place where I don’t have much privacy and they want me to be home by 11 pm. I’m sure it’s only because I am a girl. The only girl. The only child.
Staring at these boxes…I have to pack up all the memories I have had at A&T, my first apartment (although I didn’t live alone) among other things. This place has seen A LOT. A lot of domestic arguments, tears, drunk nights, parties, tension, sex (haha lots of sex) and even a fight. I don’t have too much to say on the subject but I really will miss this place. Good things must eventually come to an end. I can’t really say good thing comes to an end…maybe the good or the great part is really about to begin.
I am interested in seeing how the dynamic has changed between my parents and I. They continuously tell me I’m grown but don’t want me out past a certain time. That’s another subject.
I don’t remember things quite often but I can say I remember this one thing an acquaintance of mine said, “This is the most selfish time in our lives”. This is true I don’t have any obligations. No man, no children, no concrete job.
This is a transitional stage in my life and I have to do what I don’t want to in order to grow. Selflessness beats selfishness and discipline trumps all, so let the transition begin. *heavy sigh*